Malc, I hope you reminded them that the Vicar is not the church, the members of the congregation are.
I have to say in their defence, they started their answer with "Well, that was our fault as well."
What really got me was the "We didn't know you needed help, we thought the rest of your family were supporting you". My family started going to this church in 1966. We were all active members. They knew my Mother had died. They knew my brother now lived abroad. If they had thought their argument through for one second, they would have known I had no (functional) family.
Welcome to Britain, if you don't like the weather, just wait a minute, some more will be along soon.