graham
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Post by graham on Dec 4, 2022 19:26:35 GMT -5
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graham
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Posts: 4,151
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Post by graham on Dec 5, 2022 18:16:10 GMT -5
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Jim
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Posts: 2,059
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Post by Jim on May 31, 2023 9:07:27 GMT -5
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frodi
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Posts: 19,531
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Post by frodi on Jun 15, 2023 17:21:03 GMT -5
A boy was failing maths in school. His parents were advised to move him to a catholic school where he might do better. His grades improved enormously. When asked what helped him he replied. "when I saw that guy nailed to then plus sign I knew that these guys meant business."
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frodi
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Posts: 19,531
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Post by frodi on Dec 22, 2023 17:31:46 GMT -5
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frodi
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Posts: 19,531
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Post by frodi on Dec 22, 2023 17:33:04 GMT -5
All the animals in the stable were singing christmas carols. All except the donkey.
"Why aren't you singing?" asked the cow.
"I'm a little horse." Replied the donkey.
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frodi
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Posts: 19,531
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Post by frodi on Feb 7, 2024 17:19:26 GMT -5
God goes missing for 7 days, when he gets back he meets St.Peter. St. Peter : Where have you been we've looked everywhere for you? God: I was making something, a project you might say, see out there, see that big blue ball floating in space? I was making that, nice isn't it? St. Peter : very nice but what is it? God: I call it Earth, it's in perfect balance and so is everything on it. It's got hot, cold, wet and dry parts, it's got water , deserts, forests, lakes, rivers, frozen wastes and tropical beauty spots all balanced. Even the creatures who live there, some fly others swim, some walk upright others on all fours, balance! I put people there too, made them all different colours, gave them different languages etc, again balance, it's all about everything being balanced, what ya think? St. Peter: Yea, see what you mean thats very impressive, all balanced, very good, can I go down and have a look around? God : Sure you can, and look here see that little island there, I called that Ireland. Now thats the place to visit, gave the people there everything, climate not too hot or cold, no hurricanes, tornadoes, freezing winters none of that, gave them great scenery, music, food, sense of humour, beer, good looking women the lot. That's the place to go when you visit, highly recommend it. St. Peter : Sounds great I'll do that so, here hold on a minute I thought you said it was all about balance ? God : it is all about balance. St. Peter : Well if it is then how come you gave the people in Ireland so much good stuff, thats hardly balance now is it? God smiles and says : Yea, but just wait until you see the shower of wankers I gave them for neighbours.😛
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