Shell

[Debbie]

Thanks for the updates, Gimpy and Jim.

[Ben]

I've gotta hand it to Shell though. I've never seen anyone else comment in their own "farewell" topic. For all the problems it caused, I'm going to miss that stubborn streak.

[MalcolmR]

Any news? Over on FB her Profile picture has been changed by somebody.

[Juli]

Sept 30, 2018 10:12:44 GMT -5 MalcolmR said:

Any news? Over on FB her Profile picture has been changed by somebody.

I just saw that, and came here to check.

[Debbie]

I saw that too.

[Jim]

Rich changed it. As of 11am, she's still with us.

[danil]

Sept 30, 2018 11:13:19 GMT -5 Juli said:

Sept 30, 2018 10:12:44 GMT -5 MalcolmR said:

Any news? Over on FB her Profile picture has been changed by somebody.

I just saw that, and came here to check.

Ditto for me. Shell was many things, but simple, easy, and easy to push were NOT a part of her.

[Jim]

She's still here. Blood pressure is very low (84/60) and her eyes are fluttering, but, she's here.

[danil]

Thanks for the update, Jim. I’m sure it is difficult for you.

[Jeannette]

Hugs to you Jim and thank you for keeping us in the loop.

[Jim]

Oct 1, 2018 9:55:37 GMT -5 Jeannette said:

Hugs to you Jim and thank you for keeping us in the loop.

I honestly think she would try to do the same for me if things were reversed.

I spoke to her tonight. Rich put the phone up to her ear and said she responded a bit. I heard  crying and mumbling.

He asked me to tell her that it's OK for her to stop fighting. Ann, Trish, & Rich have all told her the same thing.

She hasn't eaten since a week a go Sunday. She hasn't been able to drink any fluids since Thursday or Friday.

She's a fighter to the end.

[MalcolmR]

Thank you Jim, We are all with you. God bless.

[martycanuck]

Shell doing things on her terms right to the end. Always been a fighter.

[Jim]

Question: Shell never made it clear what her final wishes were. She didn't want to talk about it with Rich or Hospice. I was able to fill him in on what she told me, but, I don't know if she ever settled on anything. Did she ever talk about her wishes with you? I know she was very much against the typical Catholic funeral, but, I thought she finally relented and decided that would be best for her mother's sake.

[Jeannette]

She had said to me that she didn't really want anything but was never more specific.

[Char]

She told me very specifically that she wanted to be cremated and her ashes put in a box with soil containing a live tree. The tree was to be planted. She didn't specify where and I got the impression she didn't care. She very much disliked the Catholic funeral idea. She did say, last time we talked, that she might relent because of her mother's wishes. She hated the idea, though. We talked about this MANY times and she REALLY wanted the tree.

[Jeannette]

I do remember her saying something about that also Char.

[Gimpy]

We talked about the tree and also donating her body to science. She dropped the donation idea because her body would never be returned to family and she felt they needed closure. She hated the idea of a big fancy funeral.

[glennfrommars]

Shell and I discussed it back in the spring when they pretty much gave up on chemo. I just checked my messages and it seems all the discussion was by phone, so no hard evidence of her wishes. What she told me is that she wanted to be cremated. Possibly doing one of those tree seedlings. I asked her who and where it was going to be planted. She said "well, there is that". I did some research online and found a funeral home in the Cincy area that did very basic cremations for about $700. Offered to fly up there and help her take care of all the plans since she had complained that Rich was too busy to help her. I suggested that maybe he wasnt too busy, but just unable to admit that his big sister was going to die sooner than later. Shell said she was really tired and was going to go take a nap, "we'll finish this discussion later". A week or two later I brought the subject up again, she told me then that she and Rich had taken care of everything, signed the papers at the kitchen table with her mother protesting. "These are my wishes, not yours!", is what she told me she said to her mom. One of the last times we spoke on the phone, she asked if I was going to be at her funeral, we joked about me "preaching" it, Shell said that her mom had won, they were doing a full Catholic funeral. I asked if that were possible since she had been a "recovering Catholic for 30 years. "That's my mom's problem".

[Char]

Oct 2, 2018 11:31:51 GMT -5 Gimpy said:

We talked about the tree and also donating her body to science. She dropped the donation idea because her body would never be returned to family and she felt they needed closure. She hated the idea of a big fancy funeral.

Yep. She said the same thing to me. If she donated her body it would take a very long time, if ever, for the ashes to be returned to family. She just wanted it over and done with.

[Jim]

OK, so what I told Rich was largely correct. I'm glad I got that right. Sometimes it seemed like her wishes depended on who she was upset with at the time. I knew cremation was her constant theme. Thank you.

[Jim]

Michelle R Maertz
09-29-1968 - 10/2/2018

[MalcolmR]

I’m so sorry to hear the news. My condolences to all.

[annette]

I'm so sorry.

[frodi]

Deepest condolences to you Jim and all of her family.

[Char]

Hugs to you and Rich, Jim.

[Debby]

Rest in peace, Shell.

[Ray]

[Jackie]

I'm so sorry Jim.

[glennfrommars]

This is a bit ticklish, but I dont know where else to post. Just after getting off the phone with Jim, I got a message on FaceBook from Brandon.

Brandon has asked that no one from JAD contact him with condolences or otherwise.

If you have any questions, please private message me. Thank you.