Ray
Admiral 
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734 
|
Post by Ray on Nov 10, 2019 10:44:36 GMT -5
Was talking to someone the other day, making 'em laugh over some of the things that go on in mine and April's massage business. They said, "You should write a book." I said, "Well, ya know, I did that . . . twice."  Amazon Link Amazon LinkTurns out next month it'll be 20 years since I published "If You Beat Your Fish It Will Die." (From one of my favorite jokes: "What's the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it will die." The other: "Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turned to the other and said, 'This taste funny to you?'") "Taste Funny" came out in December 2000. I used to have boxes and boxes of these things. Those poor souls who came to the early Joke A Day parties would see me crate 'em around trying to sell 'em. ("Doesn't it actually LOWER the value if you put your signature on it, Ray?") When faced with toting those out of the house one last time, they all wound up in the dumpster. What struck me odd about the books being on Amazon is: where the hell did they get all these things? I don't remember selling that many of them. And the pricing is WAY screwey. For example, for "Fish," there's a guy who's selling copies for $1.99. But he'll charge you $26.99 in shipping. There's another fella who'll give you a reasonable $3.99 for shipping . . . but the book costs $67.03. Whaaaaa . . . ?Believe it or not, I don't have any copies of the books left, either. So I just paid Amazon $20 to get them both. There's something . . . weird about that. |
|
MalcolmR
Lieutenant 
Keeping the world turning.
Posts: 23,620
|
Post by MalcolmR on Nov 10, 2019 11:55:14 GMT -5
Just checked, still got both of mine. Christ, that means I have known you for over 20 years. That explains a lot.
I have found the exact same problem on the second-hand book market. Prices vary wildly, but by the time you have added shipping . . .
|
|
Drea
Executive Staff 
Posts: 483 
|
Post by Drea on Nov 10, 2019 18:56:11 GMT -5
I just pulled my copies of each book off my shelf: "This Taste Funny to You" is signed by Ray, Spud and Ruchel.  Interestingly, inside the front cover is a program for "Joke A Day, Party 2000 - Schedule of Events" (June 17, 2000, Crockett's Run, Logan, Ohio). There are also two somewhat faded "Ray Owens' Joke A Day" chocolate bar wrappers inside the book, with jokes on them, and an ingredient list of: JOKES, LAUGHTER, WISEASS, SMARTASS, ONE LINERS, PERVERSION, FD&C YELLOW#6, FD&C RED#3. "If You Beat Your Fish It Will Die" is also signed by Ray. It however has a stamped "Book Rate" card tucked in the front cover, dated December 20, 2000. Looks like I ordered ahead for it, and then brought it to the next JAD party in Tennessee for a signature.  |
|
|
|
Post by Nathalie on Nov 11, 2019 12:23:16 GMT -5
Neither of my books are signed. Whaaaa!
|
|
frodi
Lieutenant
Posts: 18,400
|
Post by frodi on Nov 11, 2019 17:10:39 GMT -5
I've just bought my copies from amazon. One of them "signed by author". Xmas reading sorted.
|
|
|
|
Post by martycanuck on Nov 11, 2019 18:16:21 GMT -5
I never knew the books existed!
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalie on Nov 12, 2019 16:45:28 GMT -5
Ray, you'll be surprised to know that on Amazon.ca This Taste Funny to You sells for $1056.90. It is shipping from Texas. I know Canadian money isn't worth much, but sheesh!
|
|
Jim
Lieutenant
Posts: 2,012
|
Post by Jim on Nov 12, 2019 19:04:20 GMT -5
Back then, I don't think I even had a debit card.
|
|
Dan
Lieutenant
Posts: 1,334
|
Post by Dan on Nov 14, 2019 12:41:24 GMT -5
I loaned my set to Jess a few years ago... I was in her house not long ago, and they are on her bookshelf. The classics never go out of style!
|
|
|
|
Post by martycanuck on Nov 14, 2019 18:48:12 GMT -5
Back then, I don't think I even had a debit card. I had a debit card by 1982. Well then I guess it was really just an ATM card. |
|
Perry
Lieutenant
Posts: 44
|
Post by Perry on Nov 14, 2019 23:12:51 GMT -5
Have both books. Check.
Both books signed by author. Check.
Have Hunk of the Day coffee cup. Check.
Have JAD glass mug. Check.
I don't remember if I ordered the books online then brought them to a JAD party to be signed or just bought them at a party.
I just know that I brought these books with me to Germany and then to the USA.
These books have got a lot of mileage on them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalie on Nov 29, 2019 20:15:36 GMT -5
I had so many occasions when Ray could’ve signed my books. Especially that once when he was at my house. I never even thought of it. I swear the next time I see this wonderful man, I’ll have books and pen handy!
|
|
frodi
Lieutenant
Posts: 18,400
|
Post by frodi on Nov 30, 2019 16:53:53 GMT -5
Both books arrived by post on Thursday. Both signed by he who I am not worthy to say his name. Both to "Steve, with thanks." Whoever Steve is I now have his books. It also included a schedule of events for the 2000 party.
|
|
Drea
Executive Staff
Posts: 483
|
Post by Drea on Dec 2, 2019 19:50:39 GMT -5
Both books arrived by post on Thursday. Both signed by he who I am not worthy to say his name. Both to "Steve, with thanks." Whoever Steve is I now have his books. It also included a schedule of events for the 2000 party. The few of us still here who were at the 2000 JAD Party... can we figure out who "Steve" is?  |
|
Jim
Lieutenant
Posts: 2,012
|
Post by Jim on Dec 2, 2019 20:30:48 GMT -5
The only Steve I remember was from Maryland. He was a bit of a grumpy fucker, political, and used to attack Lucy for being gay. He was somewhat proud to be a troll.
|
|
frodi
Lieutenant
Posts: 18,400
|
Post by frodi on Dec 3, 2019 16:04:17 GMT -5
The inscription read "To Steve, thanks for all the your help over the last 2 years." Sound like Ray knew him fairly well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Juli on Dec 3, 2019 21:11:18 GMT -5
There was Steve McKinney, screen name YenniKcM, who slept through the 2002 party. That was my first party, so I don't know if he was at the 2000 one.
|
|
|
|
Post by glennfrommars on Dec 4, 2019 20:14:12 GMT -5
Kris. had a friend that attended with her named Steve, I cannot remember his last name at the moment.
Ah, moments later, Baab.
|
|
Drea
Executive Staff
Posts: 483
|
Post by Drea on Dec 4, 2019 21:35:36 GMT -5
Kris. had a friend that attended with her named Steve, I cannot remember his last name at the moment. Ah, moments later, Baab. Ah, I had forgotten that Kris's friend's name was Steve. Based on what was written to him, I'll bet you have it right - that's the Steve in question. |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:33:14 GMT -5
This is absolutely where they belong. Should you run low on paper, just pick a page out of the books. Any page.  |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:34:59 GMT -5
Both books arrived by post on Thursday. Both signed by he who I am not worthy to say his name. Both to "Steve, with thanks." Whoever Steve is I now have his books. It also included a schedule of events for the 2000 party. Wait a minute . . . Steve SOLD the books? He no longer wanted them? Whaaaa . . . ? |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:35:38 GMT -5
There was Steve McKinney, screen name YenniKcM, who slept through the 2002 party. That was my first party, so I don't know if he was at the 2000 one. That Steve slept through ALL the parties he attended. |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:38:26 GMT -5
Kris. had a friend that attended with her named Steve, I cannot remember his last name at the moment. Ah, moments later, Baab. Ah, I had forgotten that Kris's friend's name was Steve. Based on what was written to him, I'll bet you have it right - that's the Steve in question. That had to be who it was: Kris's friend. He really did just take charge and get things done. Amazin' fella. Then again, EVERYONE who came to the parties had that same spirit. Folks'd see something that needed doin', and they'd just do it. These things were always like one big dysfunctional family reunion. Complete with letting the village idiot have the mic at the end of it . . . ("Just listen to him. You'll feel a lot better about yourself by the time he's done . . . ") |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:45:15 GMT -5
I had so many occasions when Ray could’ve signed my books. Especially that once when he was at my house. I never even thought of it. I swear the next time I see this wonderful man, I’ll have books and pen handy! You and I were so busy doing . . . "other things," <wink wink / waggling eyebrows> . . . who could think about signing, ahem, books? |
|
Ray
Admiral
Forum God
Overworked. Underloved.
Posts: 734
|
Post by Ray on Dec 25, 2019 9:54:54 GMT -5
BTW, thanks to y'all's purchase of the books, they're that much closer to being at the top of the sales charts for Amazon: "This Taste Funny To You?" Current ranked as the 4,478,445th best selling book on Amazon. (Look out, Stephen King. I'm gaining on your ass.) But in the category Computers and Technology I'm doing better: 138,203rd best selling book. In "Love, Sex, and Marriage Humor," it a respectable 8936th best selling. And for "Computers and Internet Humor," it's hanging in there as the 1413th best selling. "If You Beat Your Fish It Will Die": Currently ranked as their 4,408,927th best selling book. But in the "Love, Sex, and Marriage Humor" category it's doing much better: It's the 8845th best selling book. Oh, it gets better: In "Computers and Internet Humor" it's the 1402nd best selling book. But the best one of all: It is the 716th best selling book of all time in the category (I'm not making this up): "Hunting and Fishing Humor." (Maybe I should be miffed that on Christmas Day, 2019, the #1 Book in Fishing & Humor is currently 'Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Dad Jokes' " |
|
|
|
Post by martycanuck on Dec 25, 2019 11:28:14 GMT -5
Well I found This Taste Funny to You (and purchased) on Amazon this AM but not the other.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nathalie on Dec 25, 2019 21:49:33 GMT -5
Marty check: Amazon.ca. There is one. If you beat your fish it will die. linkHope my link works |
|
frodi
Lieutenant
Posts: 18,400
|
Post by frodi on Dec 26, 2019 8:29:30 GMT -5
BTW, thanks to y'all's purchase of the books, they're that much closer to being at the top of the sales charts for Amazon: "This Taste Funny To You?" Current ranked as the 4,478,445th best selling book on Amazon. (Look out, Stephen King. I'm gaining on your ass.) But in the category Computers and Technology I'm doing better: 138,203rd best selling book. In "Love, Sex, and Marriage Humor," it a respectable 8936th best selling. And for "Computers and Internet Humor," it's hanging in there as the 1413th best selling. "If You Beat Your Fish It Will Die": Currently ranked as their 4,408,927th best selling book. But in the "Love, Sex, and Marriage Humor" category it's doing much better: It's the 8845th best selling book. Oh, it gets better: In "Computers and Internet Humor" it's the 1402nd best selling book. But the best one of all: It is the 716th best selling book of all time in the category (I'm not making this up): "Hunting and Fishing Humor." (Maybe I should be miffed that on Christmas Day, 2019, the #1 Book in Fishing & Humor is currently 'Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Dad Jokes' " Glad to my bit. Invite me along when you get the Pulitzer. |
|
|
|
Post by martycanuck on Dec 27, 2019 18:18:26 GMT -5
Marty check: Amazon.ca. There is one. If you beat your fish it will die. linkHope my link works LOL, I already ordered it! |
|
|
|
Post by glennfrommars on Jan 4, 2020 23:06:16 GMT -5
This is absolutely where they belong. Should you run low on paper, just pick a page out of the books. Any page. that's what I did with my copies. It made my butt feel funny |
|
Interestingly, inside the front cover is a program for "Joke A Day, Party 2000 - Schedule of Events" (June 17, 2000, Crockett's Run, Logan, Ohio). There are also two somewhat faded "Ray Owens' Joke A Day" chocolate bar wrappers inside the book, with jokes on them, and an ingredient list of: JOKES, LAUGHTER, WISEASS, SMARTASS, ONE LINERS, PERVERSION, FD&C YELLOW#6, FD&C RED#3.
