Sick Jokes [NASTY]

[MalcolmR]

Why are camels considered the battleships of the desert?

Because they are full of Arab semen.

[MalcolmR]

Mother: " Johnny, the school tells me that you got detention for using the C word?"

Johnny: "Yes, Mother".

Mother: "That wasn't clever was it?"

Johnny: "No, it was cunt".

[Bomber]

Johnny: "I had sex with my teacher today."

Mother (shocked): "That's disgusting, Wait until your father gets home."

Johnny (later to father): "I had sex with my teacher today."

Father (proudly): That's fantastic, son. I'm so proud that you're becoming an adult. What do you say we go out & get you a new bicycle?"

Johnny: Not right now, my ass hurts."

[MalcolmR]

I went to my local Chinese last night.

I ordered chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Singapore crispy noodles.

The twat tipped it loose into a plastic carrier bag,

I said ‘what the hell are you doing’?

He said ‘we’re not allowed to put Chinese into containers anymore’

[frodi]

The lorry driver when release from custody last night said that he was so hungry that he could murder a chinese.

[MalcolmR]

Usain Bolt goes to join a golf club. The secretary says "We don't allow blacks at this club. However there's a club 10 minutes down the road that take blacks. "

Furious, Bolt replies "do you know who I am? I'm Usain fucking Bolt!"

"Oh, sorry, " replies the Secretary. "In that case, it's 5 minutes down the road! "

[MalcolmR]

Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19.

Meanwhile, Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer, 14.

[MalcolmR]

A school-mate of mine got caught wanking in the showers.


It completely ruined the trip to Auschvitz.

[graham]

I've decided to kill off some of the characters in the book I'm writing.

That should make my autobiography a bit more interesting...

[graham]